We talk almost every day now, and she misses us. We are making plans for our time together. Biking, yes. Swimming, no. But watching Little Man swim, okay. We say, “Summer, hurry!”
And of course, there is much talk about her dream: “We go to New York City? Please?”
She wants to go so badly. In my own fear, I started to wonder if she wanted that more than to be with me. That would hurt. But then I thought about what that really says about me. Do I really love her unconditionally? I say I do, but can I love her enough to help her dreams come true…even if they don’t include me? Am I wanting to be loved more than loving?
So I decided that I wanted to tell her that. I said that I wanted her here with me. But I can only give her a few days in NYC, if I can get the money. But I love her. I want her happiness. If she wanted to go to a family in NYC for the summer, I would work my hardest to find her one. Because that’s what love does.
And she thought for a while. And then she said, “I want New York. But this family I very much like. What good New York if you no with me? No. I come. We visit New York. But I summer with you.”
And then, because she is my sassy girl, she looked at me with that mischievous twinkle in her eye and said, “Soooo, this mean yes, New York? Yes??”
And I laughed. Because when your heart is that full it cannot help but bubble out.
So she will come. And we will go to New York. Now I need to figure out how to make such a thing happen. Because that’s what love does.
Another child is wanted and missed and longed for, too.
He’s coming for the summer again, too. And, hopefully soon, he will come and stay forever. Bryan and Stephanie have decided to pursue adoption.
I didn’t know that joy and love could ache so much. Adoption, hurry!
They still cannot talk to him directly about it (country rules) and ask that you also refrain from speaking about it to him or in front of him. If it is discussed with him before they have country approval, it could jeopardize their ability to adopt at all. However, they can tell you more details privately.
And so we both have big dreams. Big hurdles. I will be honest—I don’t know how I’m going to do it this time. I feel like I have worn out my welcome. People have to be tired of hearing “Just another few thousand dollars…”
Hosting is around $4,000 for each of us. Plus I need to find additional funds for NYC. And they need additional funds for their adoption…which is a lot more than a trip to NYC.
But I also know faithfulness and mercy and trust and love. And I know that I have a girl across an ocean waiting for me. And I know they have a boy hoping for a family. So I will wait on the One who loves us all. And I will be grateful for the opportunity to love these children, to practice patience, and to grow in humility.
And we will keep walking forward, working to hold our dear ones again. Because that’s what love does.
Our first fundraiser will be in the next week or so. We will be having a silent auction online and are currently collecting donations. Do you have any unspent gift cards? Any gifts from Christmas you don’t want but never bothered to return? Any services you would like to donate? If so, please send donations to PO Box 1451 Indiana, Pa 15701 or contact me to drop them off locally. The deadline for donations is February 16th.
If you would prefer to make a monetary donation to me, please click on the Donate button on the right side of this page or click here.
If you would like to donate to Bryan and Stephanie, please click here for their fundraising page.
But more than all of that, please pray for us. These things feel immense at times. Pray for our hearts. Pray for Sunshine and Sprite. Pray for their coming…and also for the eventual going again.
Oh, the going. I cannot bear it.
But that is for later. For now, summer hurry.