Counting Out the Love

I hate Valentine’s Day.  I really do.  I’m not just saying that because of where I am in this moment of my life.  My college friends can tell you of my many years in Goth-inspired outfits.  My non-participation became my celebration.  And I liked it that way. But it’s not really out of bitterness that…

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Pursuits of the Heart

It’s been a week now since she’s been gone.  I am still longing to hear her voice. In this last week, a lot of other families have let their heart children go as well.  And the next question comes: what now? One natural outcome of hosting is the possibility of adoption.  Some of the children…

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New Year, New Life

On this day exactly one year ago, Little Man and I sat in a food court eating Auntie Anne’s pretzels, and I broke the news. This was our last year. After four years of waiting for adoption or foster placements, I was finished.  It must not be meant for us.  It must not be what…

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Seeing Him Again

I got to talk to Soccer Boy today on Skype.  I met his mama and brother. Smiles and happy.  Lots of laughing at the way we couldn’t communicate. Laundry hanging on a line behind their heads.  Faded wallpaper and a doorway leading to the maja he knows.  The maja he longed for. I miss him…

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Sprite

There are so many stories of Soccer Boy’s time here in America that I have not yet shared.  Sometimes it was because it was too close to tell in a voice louder than a whisper.  Sometimes it was because it was a moment, a flash, and it touched my soul in ways that didn’t have…

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Point of No Return

There is not any easy way to start this, so I’m just going to say it. He’s not coming. We found out yesterday afternoon that Soccer Boy has been returned to his biological mother. It was a hard day. In the morning, we were told he was coming, and his photo went up and we…

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Notes from the Yard Sale

Last week, Stephanie and I held a yard sale to raise money to bring Soccerboy back for Christmas.  It was a lot of work, with each of us only getting about 10 hours of sleep in three days.  But it was worth every second. We ultimately raised $1700 toward his return. We are so grateful…

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Fifteen Days Gone

We are going camping today. I’m trying to pack, and all I see is the differences from last time.  The time when he was here.  Now, there’s only one bathing suit.  One bike.  One scooter.  One boy. I know that I will sit by the fire and all I will see is the empty chair…

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Give Your Junk, Help a Child

Every hosting, New Horizons for Children asks the host families to write a promise of God on a piece of cardboard and take a picture of the child with it.  They make a wonderful video of all the children holding the truths they have learned in their time here.  Here is the video from last…

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First Day Gone

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up…

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